In many cases, the ideal situation for post-divorce family life comes through joint custody and co-parenting. This means that the child’s time is divided between both parents so that they can continue a healthy relationship with each caregiver. While this may not always be possible, it can work well if both parents are up to the challenge of coming together to continue to raise their child as part of a family, albeit a separated one. Co-parenting can be tough, but with the right attitude and plan in place it can allow your child to feel more secure and settled through this challenging time.
Get legal support
In order to set up the ideal co-parenting custody arrangement, you’ll need a mediator to help you both through the legal system to ensure that the arrangements made are in the best interest of your child. You can sit down with a family lawyer sydney to discuss how the custody arrangement process will work, and they’ll help you come to an agreement that ensures the best possible outcome for your child without unnecessary legal complications.
Be aware and accepting of your child’s emotions
It’s completely natural and normal for your child to experience a wide range of emotions during and after a divorce. This is a major change for them, and one that often leads to a plethora of difficult questions and challenging experiences. Both parents need to be willing to sit with their child through these emotions and accept that the process is tough for them. Try not to panic over your child’s sadness – remaining calm and stable will help them to feel more secure, and it’s important that they’re able to express their feelings and grieve.
Be on top of your scheduling
While a custody arrangement may be set out in court, it’s inevitable that life will sometimes get in the way and timings and scheduling may need to be flexible. Make sure you keep your ex involved in your schedule so they’re aware well in advance of any changes that you may need to make, and to allow for renegotiation of certain details of their time with your child. Adopting a rigid approach to your custody plans can cause conflict, so both parents should aim to be flexible and understanding.
Maintain a civil attitude
One of the hardest things about co-parenting can be the shift from a marriage relationship to one of necessary communication that often contains underlying anger and unresolved emotion. Regardless of how you feel about your ex, you’ll need to be civil when communicating to keep your child’s best interests as the priority. Try to keep the conversation focused on your child and the arrangements involving them and leave the emotional baggage at the door.
Keep your kid out of it
If you and your ex do continue to experience conflict, make sure your child is completely left out of it and not pulled into the problem. Talking negatively about their other parent will only cause confusion and hurt, so save those conversations for a sympathetic friend. Your child needs to see that they still have a family and that both of their parents are still there for them, and you can certainly make this happen by keeping the peace when they’re involved.
