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The Secrets to Repairing a Broken Relationship




Are you ready to start rebuilding your broken relationship? You're in the right place. The good news is that you can transform the situation you're in right now by working together to create a partnership that works for you both.

In this post, we're going to share with you some of the principles from Acceptance and Commitment therapy that can help you repair a damaged relationship. Let's get stuck in:


1. Observe your thoughts about the relationship

The first step is to observe your thoughts about the relationship without judgement. Often, we get so caught up in what's going on; we don't get the chance to acknowledge our thoughts for what they are — just thoughts.

In other words, our thoughts are not facts. This distinction is so important when we're experiencing relationship difficulties. Attaching ourselves to our own interpretation of events means we're closed to hearing our partner's perspective.

By detaching ourselves from our thoughts, we allow space to hear what's going on for our partner. This enables us to be guided by our perspectives without being bound to them. When we do this, it's much easier to find common ground with our partner, acknowledging the different ways we've interpreted the situation. From here, it's easier to find a way forward that works for both people in the relationship.


2. Accept your relationship in its current state

Acceptance is something many people find difficult. If you're reading this post, it's likely you're not happy about the current state of your relationship.

And that's okay because it's possible to be unhappy with a situation while simultaneously accepting it. Life isn't always what we want it to be, and those negative experiences tell us something. Instead of shutting down to those experiences, it's crucial to open up and let them in. Sit with the discomfort and acknowledge how it makes you feel.

Your relationship might not be where you want it to be, but you can change that. Although it's hard to face the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing towards your relationship, those emotions are telling you something. The important thing is you're still here, so practise accepting your relationship exactly how it is while knowing everything can change.


3. Be present

How present are you? When we encounter difficulties, it's often because we're not grounded in the present moment.

This disconnect from the present moment regularly becomes apparent in times of conflict. Think about your last argument with your partner. Did you pay attention to what was going on, or were you lost in your frustration, anger, or thoughts?

Next time, try making that shift to focus on the present moment. Take a step back from your own thoughts and feelings to notice what's really happening. Pay attention and get curious.

This tip applies to the good times, too. When you're spending time with your partner, how much attention do you give them? Is your mind focused on other things, like work or your phone? Or do you give your partner your undivided attention?

Try leaving behind the distractions and focus on being present with your partner. Ask questions, listen to what they're telling you, and make time to share activities you enjoy together.


4. Discover what's important to you as a couple

What do you value? What does your partner value? What are your shared values in the relationship?

These are three of the most important questions you will consider as you begin to rebuild your relationship. The answers will tell you what's important: to you both as individuals and together.

Take some time to think about the answers and ask your partner to do the same. Once you've done this independently, compare notes. From here, you can work out what's important to you, considering each other's needs as you do.


5. Take action

Now you've clarified what's important; you can begin to take action towards it. Set goals that help you move beyond conflict to create a life more in line with your values.

What needs to change for you to prioritise what's important?

Set small goals to start with; you can build on them later. For example, suppose you both identified connection as a shared value. What are some concrete steps you can take towards creating more of this connection in your relationship?


Are you ready to repair your damaged relationship?

Taking that first step towards rebuilding a broken relationship can feel daunting. Still, those small steps can soon make a difference. Take the first step with the strategies we've shared in this blog post — and commit to creating a relationship that works for you and your partner.



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